Need Advice on Adoption

[Sarah]

My husband and I have 2 foster sons who are 2 1/2 and 4 1/2. They have been with us for 15 months and CPS is starting the process to terminate parental rights. We are hoping to adopt. We would love advice from others who have done this. (By the way, we also have a 7 month old biological daughter.)

[kim]

My husband and I adopted three children. We have three adult children and seven grandchildren LOL now three more. Their ages are now 2, 4 and 8 years of age.
Even at my age it is the greatest thing that has happen to us as parents. I am not sure what advice I can give you but ask away and I'll do my best to answer any and all questions.
kim

[Sarah]

Kim, Thanks for responding. I haven't been on here for a while. It sounds like you have a wonderful family! Our biggest concern is how to help the boys through losing their mother. From what I understand, it is the most devasting thing in the world for a child to feel he wasn't important enough for his mom to get things together. I know they can't get through this without any hurt, but we want to do whatever we can do to minimize this. The boys also have a maternal grandmother and a paternal aunt that have been very involved with them, but aren't able to take them. We are wondering if we should continue contact with these relatives after the adoption. On one hand they can never have too many people love them, but on the other, it may be confusing for them and keep bringing up alot of hurt. Do your children continue to see any of their biological family?
I really appreciate any advice!

[loverofpeace]

Kim,

How long did the adoption process take after parental rights were terminated?

[Sarah]

The attorney for CPS told us after the termination is complete that the boy's mom can appeal the decision. He said that the appeal process can take 1-2 years! We can't apply to adopt until the appeal is resolved. This is way too long for children to be hanging in limbo. I want to be able to tell them that we will be a forever family right away.

[FosterMom78]

Hi Sarah,
I am in complete agreement with you! The whole termination process is WAY to long to keep children in limbo :(. Unfortunately there is not much to do. I will say some prayers that the process goes by quick for you. Hopefully the BM will not contest and realize that her child is better off with you. Best of Luck! :)

[AllTangled]

That's terrible and certainly tough for the child! I'll keep my fingers crossed that it goes smoother!

[Texas Grandma]

We are in the middle of adoption after termination of parental rights. The termination hearing was 8-08. They are saying it could be June 09 before it is completed. We have been doing this for 3 years now and I am ready for it to all be over. I allow the bio parents to see him, they cannot take him alone with them. They came and spent the night over the holidays, and was able to be a part of his Christmas. I am trying to do the right thing by my foster child, but also keep him safe and keep his environment safe, stable and stress free as possible. I am also trying to rebuild a relationship with my daughter (his bio mother). A child cannot ever have enough people in their life to love and cherish them. When the other grandmother is in town and expresses interest in see him, I allow her to visit also.

It is a challange and bio father and I have a special kind of dislike for each other, but I am trying to make this a amicable situation.

[fostermomma2littleones]

We adopted our son over a year ago and will hopefully start the process to adopt our one foster daughter that we've had for 2 years here soon. Anyway...I know with our foster daughter, they are going to do something called Child Prep with her. We have not yet started this service, however, the lady with be coming out next week. My understanding is that they come and work with the child and us and explain where she was when she came into care, what's happened while she's in care, and what's going to happen next with the adoption. I'm told they will give us helpful information on how to talk to the child about what's going on, etc. Our foster daughter is 3...I've been told she's pretty young to start this, but she's a smart girl, so they are hoping this will help her deal with what's going on. Maybe your agency has something similiar they could with your children?! I'll have to let you know it goes for us, but I've been told they have good responses to this program