dsollen
October 18th, 2009, 04:32 PM
Hello everyone,
I'm speaking in very theoretically terms currently, I have a different major decision that I'm going to be busy following through on for the next half year or so, I'm not giving serious consideration to this idea until after May. Still I'm asking around now just to get an idea if it's even possible. I know that resources online that I have seen state that a single parent can become a foster parent, but there is a difference between theoretically can and reality. But let me explain my situation a bit better...
I've graduated from college about a year ago with a Computer Science degree and am doing well enough for myself, no debt, reliable (if not challenging enough) job, starting to get some savings ect. As you can probably guess I am not married, nor am I expecting to get married any time soon (if ever). Anyways ever sense I've graduated I've felt like...I wasn't doing enough. I've achieved all those goals I had as a kid by graduating and getting the job I wanted, now that I have that out of the way I want to do something more with my time then going to work and hanging out with friend or online with my free time. I've considered the idea of being an adoptive parent 'some time in the theoretical future' for at least 5 years now, which lead me to doing some research into the idea now. I'm now thinking a foster parent may be more ideal then adopting, but I'm not certain if I can and, or should, pursue the concept.
I should point out that I have experience with children. I've been volunteering with children in many faucets ever sense I graduated from High School and I'd like to think I'm pretty good at getting a kid to open up and trust me. My most rewarding experience (which is saying a lot because I have had many rewarding experiences to choice from) seems to be working with Big Brother Big Sisters of America, which sadly got ended prematurely when I ran out of classes to take at my local community college and had to move to UMD a semester sooner then I intended to.
Of course for all my positive experiences with children I have never had a position of responsibility that being parent requires. Most of my experience with children was only for a few hours at a time before their parents came back to pick them up. With the exception of my niece and nephews I've never been in a position to need to discipline a child, and my nephews are so well behaved and trained by my sister that they rarely require more than a stern word. I've never had to make rules, never had to make sure kids are up and dressed in time for the school bus, never had to plan a birthday party (or remember one for that matter, my farther or sister always emails me to remind me of important dates file:///C:/DOCUME%7E1/Drew/LOCALS%7E1/Temp/msohtmlclip1/01/clip_image001.gif).
So having said all that we come back to my real question. Would a foster agency ever give serious consideration to me as a possible foster parent? I'm single and would have no help raising a child, which of course means I would have to work during the days and somehow arrange day care. I have some good experience with children, but ultimately I've never been a parent either. I recognize those as major arguments against adopting or fostering. There also the fact that I am younger and male, I know many would say that sex of a foster parent doesn’t matter, but I've met some who were more comfortable entrusting their children with a women then a man while volunteering. On the plus side I have job security and could afford to support a child financially even without any support from the state. In addition if I opt to move closer to home when I change jobs shortly I would have a powerful support system with my parents and sister. Call me biased, because I am, but I can't think of better parents them my father, mother, or sister. All I know about kids I shamelessly stole from watching them.
I know this probably varies significantly from state to state; I’m not looking for an absolute answer so much as a general rule of thumb. I'm sort of expecting to hear that while most states do allow single parents to foster it's harder and my youth would work against me. If I were to return to Microsoft when I leave my current job, where I don't have my family close to support me, would it even be possible?
Anyways any answers would be appreciated. And thank you for listening to my rambling question; I never claimed to be English major.
I'm speaking in very theoretically terms currently, I have a different major decision that I'm going to be busy following through on for the next half year or so, I'm not giving serious consideration to this idea until after May. Still I'm asking around now just to get an idea if it's even possible. I know that resources online that I have seen state that a single parent can become a foster parent, but there is a difference between theoretically can and reality. But let me explain my situation a bit better...
I've graduated from college about a year ago with a Computer Science degree and am doing well enough for myself, no debt, reliable (if not challenging enough) job, starting to get some savings ect. As you can probably guess I am not married, nor am I expecting to get married any time soon (if ever). Anyways ever sense I've graduated I've felt like...I wasn't doing enough. I've achieved all those goals I had as a kid by graduating and getting the job I wanted, now that I have that out of the way I want to do something more with my time then going to work and hanging out with friend or online with my free time. I've considered the idea of being an adoptive parent 'some time in the theoretical future' for at least 5 years now, which lead me to doing some research into the idea now. I'm now thinking a foster parent may be more ideal then adopting, but I'm not certain if I can and, or should, pursue the concept.
I should point out that I have experience with children. I've been volunteering with children in many faucets ever sense I graduated from High School and I'd like to think I'm pretty good at getting a kid to open up and trust me. My most rewarding experience (which is saying a lot because I have had many rewarding experiences to choice from) seems to be working with Big Brother Big Sisters of America, which sadly got ended prematurely when I ran out of classes to take at my local community college and had to move to UMD a semester sooner then I intended to.
Of course for all my positive experiences with children I have never had a position of responsibility that being parent requires. Most of my experience with children was only for a few hours at a time before their parents came back to pick them up. With the exception of my niece and nephews I've never been in a position to need to discipline a child, and my nephews are so well behaved and trained by my sister that they rarely require more than a stern word. I've never had to make rules, never had to make sure kids are up and dressed in time for the school bus, never had to plan a birthday party (or remember one for that matter, my farther or sister always emails me to remind me of important dates file:///C:/DOCUME%7E1/Drew/LOCALS%7E1/Temp/msohtmlclip1/01/clip_image001.gif).
So having said all that we come back to my real question. Would a foster agency ever give serious consideration to me as a possible foster parent? I'm single and would have no help raising a child, which of course means I would have to work during the days and somehow arrange day care. I have some good experience with children, but ultimately I've never been a parent either. I recognize those as major arguments against adopting or fostering. There also the fact that I am younger and male, I know many would say that sex of a foster parent doesn’t matter, but I've met some who were more comfortable entrusting their children with a women then a man while volunteering. On the plus side I have job security and could afford to support a child financially even without any support from the state. In addition if I opt to move closer to home when I change jobs shortly I would have a powerful support system with my parents and sister. Call me biased, because I am, but I can't think of better parents them my father, mother, or sister. All I know about kids I shamelessly stole from watching them.
I know this probably varies significantly from state to state; I’m not looking for an absolute answer so much as a general rule of thumb. I'm sort of expecting to hear that while most states do allow single parents to foster it's harder and my youth would work against me. If I were to return to Microsoft when I leave my current job, where I don't have my family close to support me, would it even be possible?
Anyways any answers would be appreciated. And thank you for listening to my rambling question; I never claimed to be English major.