FosterMom78
June 27th, 2008, 08:31 AM
Hi Everyone,
I am new to this site. A few months ago a family member of mine had her child taken away by DSS for various dom violence and sub abuse issues. My husband and I have taken the child in our home (He is 18 months). Before this happened we had a decent relationship with the BM and the rest of the family... now it seems that everything we do they find ways to complain about. We are truly doing the best for the child and he has adjusted so well and is so happy... I am wondering if this is what bothers them most... The childs visits with the BM are now done at the DSS office to avoid any complaints. We are down to no contact with the BM and her family.
The thing is they are our family too and things have become quite difficult for us. While I believe most of the rest of the family is on our side it still makes for extreme uncomfortable moments. I dont want to force family members to take sides and I dont want to involve everyone so my husband and I try our best to leave that off of things to talk about. With family functions and holidays during the summer months it has made tihings quite difficult.
We have had the little boy now for about 5 months and love him to death. He has brought lots of smiles and laughs into our home. While I know that the goal is reunification I am finding it difficult to understand how the state would send him back to basically the same situation. The BM has made little to no improvements and constantly lies about everything. Since the child is so young he is becoming more and more attached to us and I know now it will hurt him again to leave. The DSS office still can not give us any sort of time line but tell us it will be awhile...
I am just wondering how long these things go on?? We would love to adopt the boy if given the opportunity but when does the state decide enough is enough and let us? We dont seem to get alot of information on timelines... they keep mum... but does anyone know realisticly how long these things can take? Somedays I feel worse than others and just wish this whole mess would be done with... it makes it so much more difficult I think to have family involved... and I know if they do get him back they will not allow us to see him anymore. It's really just sad... does anyone have any advice to offer?
I am new to this site. A few months ago a family member of mine had her child taken away by DSS for various dom violence and sub abuse issues. My husband and I have taken the child in our home (He is 18 months). Before this happened we had a decent relationship with the BM and the rest of the family... now it seems that everything we do they find ways to complain about. We are truly doing the best for the child and he has adjusted so well and is so happy... I am wondering if this is what bothers them most... The childs visits with the BM are now done at the DSS office to avoid any complaints. We are down to no contact with the BM and her family.
The thing is they are our family too and things have become quite difficult for us. While I believe most of the rest of the family is on our side it still makes for extreme uncomfortable moments. I dont want to force family members to take sides and I dont want to involve everyone so my husband and I try our best to leave that off of things to talk about. With family functions and holidays during the summer months it has made tihings quite difficult.
We have had the little boy now for about 5 months and love him to death. He has brought lots of smiles and laughs into our home. While I know that the goal is reunification I am finding it difficult to understand how the state would send him back to basically the same situation. The BM has made little to no improvements and constantly lies about everything. Since the child is so young he is becoming more and more attached to us and I know now it will hurt him again to leave. The DSS office still can not give us any sort of time line but tell us it will be awhile...
I am just wondering how long these things go on?? We would love to adopt the boy if given the opportunity but when does the state decide enough is enough and let us? We dont seem to get alot of information on timelines... they keep mum... but does anyone know realisticly how long these things can take? Somedays I feel worse than others and just wish this whole mess would be done with... it makes it so much more difficult I think to have family involved... and I know if they do get him back they will not allow us to see him anymore. It's really just sad... does anyone have any advice to offer?