Young Children with Mental Illness

[MamaD]

We have 2 young children who come from a long history of mental illness. They are displaying behaviors that concern me a great deal (even more significant than other foster children). But, because they are very young (1 yr. & 3 yr.) no one wants to believe that they have inherited their parents illness. I feel like we are dealing with significant bi-polar issues along with attachment disorder and oppositional disorder (3 yr. old only) Any advice?

[peggyb101]

Hello, wow can I relate to this one. When I got the two boys that are now adopted they were 2 and 3. The two year old was mostly developmentally delayed and neglected more than anything, but I definitely knew I had something serious on my hands with the 3 year old. The social workers and guardian ad lidem would say, "He is only 3, he's fine" and I said said no way this is not normal behavior...at all. The first day I met him we went down to the basement to play with some toys and he walked up to his little brother and pretended to shoot him execution style in the back of the head, then he turned around and grabbed a car and went on like nothing ever happened. We had so many odd or what I like to call creepy situations that I did not care what they said I was hell bent on getting help. My home finder was pretty much the one who got me to where I needed to go, and that was the area psychiatrist who talked to foster parents at the agency on Wednesdays. I described his behavior and believe it or not she said...wait a minute who are his birth parents? I told her and she slapped her leg and said, "I knew it". She happens to own the area mental health offices in our area and she had a counselor in mind that she knew would work the best for him. She was pretty sure he had RAD or Reactive attachment Disorder and if you dont get hooked up with the right counselor things can get worse. We saw he for around a year and he was doing pretty well so we stopped completely. She said he would probably come in and out of her office his whole life during different stages in his life. We then got him in to preschool in our area and thought I had covered my butt by giving them a letter from his therapist and salos a letter from a developmental/behavioral specialist at Akron Childrens Hospital (which he also seen on and off for 3 years). The school really never embraced the idea that he had any issues and things were pretty much rough from preschool to 1st grade when apparently he had been telling them if he brought home any disciplinary actions for his behavior that I would beat him with a belt...and apparently others things in which the school did not feel I should be notified about. By January he showed up to school with a red line on his neck and I am not sure what occured but some how he made it into the principals office and said I strangled him...and proceeded to show her how I did it. I had no idea this had occurred until CPS showed up at my door to begin an investigation. This ended up with a 4 1/2 mos. investion including a lovely interrogation for 2 1/2 hours by the local police department. This was very devastating to me and my family although in the end it was ruled unsubstantiated. He is now in the 2nd grade and has been back in therapy for about 8 mos. We continued to have trouble with the school where we have pulled him and his brother and put him in the neighboring city school. It appears they have more understanding and knowledge with these little guys so so far things have been better. He seems to be doing a lot better mentally right now as well and has kept the lying to a minimum. o I guess I am telling you this because I want you to really not take any response except that they will help get you some assistance with these guys. I have had other kids as well and this is the only time I have run into these circumstances. i dont know if bipolar can be diagnosed by 1 and 3 (my kids were exposed to alcohol in the womb and apparently it was put into their bottles as well, plus a bi-polar disorder on mom). I am not sure what the future holds but in the end the best thing you can do is be very proactive as soon as you can...even if you dont keep them if you get them into the therapy the next person will have to continue. Good luck and let me know if you need anything else...the only thing I can say is that sometimes its just nice to know that someone else is going through or has gone through the same situation. Thanks!

[Jacqueline]

Three years old is a little early to be thinking of Oppositional Deviance Disorder. I have delt with pre-teens and a teen with this disorder and it is not pretty. I do not believe that they know what exactly causes this disorder but the children that I experience it with were exposed to drugs and alcohol in utero. These children were some extreme examples though. I was also told that since people under the age of eighteen cannot be diagnosed as psychopaths or sociopaths, that they get labeled with Oppositional Defiance Disorder until they get old enough to be diagnosed with the other disorders. That is just what one doctor told me though.

[sbeaton]

Biological, psychological and social factors may have a role in what you are seeing. I think any medical professional (psychiatrist/psychologish) would be hard pressed to explore Bipolar Disorder and/or ODD prior to school age. Most children display some opposition to authority on ocassion or the child may have other issues such as AD/HD, FASD, learning or sensory issues, anxiety...the list could go on if the DSM is open.

One of the many things that helped me to manage a situation in my own home was very good therapist who went over some play therapy things to do at home; a certified Play Therapist might not be in your area. Books to try are: 'Theraplay - Innovations in Attachment-Enhancing Play Therapy, Evangeline Munns' and 'Theraplay - Helping Parents and Children Build Better Relationships Through Attachement-Based Play, Ann Jernberg and Phyllis Booth'. With 5 foster children I thought I'd never have the time to read anything, but it started to pay off after a short time.

Another topic to do some research on is Anxiety in Children....there are a number of resources online....try one of the book sites: Amazon or Chapters/Indigo. I am in Canada so one of the resources I use for children's anxiety is: http://www.heretohelp.bc.ca/anxiety-disorders-children-youth/alt/1 (http://www.heretohelp.bc.ca/anxiety-disorders-children-youth/alt/1) , but there are many...try to make certain it's a reputable and recognized.

On a personal note, I used to get quite drained by the behaviour and I think any child senses when you've reached the end of your capacity. I found that taking a few breathers on my own, even giving myself a few minutes of a time out was less painful than banging my head on the wall (so to speak) and the lack of a reaction from the caregiver often surprises the child.

I hope some of that was of help to you! Good Luck!