chrisnpamela
June 19th, 2008, 07:36 PM
My wife and I have been foster parents for almost 3 years and have had it pretty good...until now.
We adopted our son after parents rights were terminated. He had been in our home about 10 months when we finally got to adopt him and we feel truly blessed. He had been pulled from the previous foster home because DHS had suspected neglect. He is developmentally delayed (which we said we would not take but are glad we did) and beautiful little boy.
We are in the process now of adopting a little girl that has been in our home for over a year. Rights have been termed on the mom and dad has a 20 year history with the department of corrections - and not as a employee :eek:.
On fathers day we recieved a call that our son's bio dad had fathered another little boy with a different mom and DHS seemed pretty convinced that there was no one else in the picture and called us becuse of the sibling status. My wife and i wresteled with it simply because it would mean having 3 kids under the age of 3 but when we comitted to this we knew a sibling could be possible down the road.
So - we gladly said yes and had 24 hours to complete the nesting process for this 2 day old baby. We got it the next day and we were thrilled. He looked just like our son we adoped. When he (our son) saw the baby - he dropped to his knees in awe. This rough and tumble kid became a gentle giant with a warm hug and kiss and smile as big as Texas.
24 hours later we hear from DHS - a couple - 15 year friends of the mother's family step up and say that they want the child. DHS stated they were well qualified and were going thru the background check process. I asked DHS about this. I cant remember how many times in training and materials - they boasted about sibling groups and prepared us for it. Why on earth would they consider putting the child in a kinship placement when they know the parents are unfit and also know that the child will end up being adopted.
This may be totally selfish but I can't help but to think the boy's need to grow up together. The kinship has shown an interest in letting the boys get to know each other, but again my son is developmentally delayed and were worried about the confusion this will cause as he grows up. Needless to say the Kinship family wants a open adoption so bio mom and dad can visit. We had a closed adoption on our son because the mom's family has a long history of abuse and neglect and we're not convinced the bio dad has completely severed ties with our son's mom.
My heart breaks for everone involved. The bio parents for both boys are low functioning with severe mental retardation. We just cant help but to think that letting the boys grow up together is in the best interest of both of them.
DHS will be here tomorrow morning to pick up the baby. Less than a week and we have to say goodbye. To say we're crushed would be a understatement.
We adopted our son after parents rights were terminated. He had been in our home about 10 months when we finally got to adopt him and we feel truly blessed. He had been pulled from the previous foster home because DHS had suspected neglect. He is developmentally delayed (which we said we would not take but are glad we did) and beautiful little boy.
We are in the process now of adopting a little girl that has been in our home for over a year. Rights have been termed on the mom and dad has a 20 year history with the department of corrections - and not as a employee :eek:.
On fathers day we recieved a call that our son's bio dad had fathered another little boy with a different mom and DHS seemed pretty convinced that there was no one else in the picture and called us becuse of the sibling status. My wife and i wresteled with it simply because it would mean having 3 kids under the age of 3 but when we comitted to this we knew a sibling could be possible down the road.
So - we gladly said yes and had 24 hours to complete the nesting process for this 2 day old baby. We got it the next day and we were thrilled. He looked just like our son we adoped. When he (our son) saw the baby - he dropped to his knees in awe. This rough and tumble kid became a gentle giant with a warm hug and kiss and smile as big as Texas.
24 hours later we hear from DHS - a couple - 15 year friends of the mother's family step up and say that they want the child. DHS stated they were well qualified and were going thru the background check process. I asked DHS about this. I cant remember how many times in training and materials - they boasted about sibling groups and prepared us for it. Why on earth would they consider putting the child in a kinship placement when they know the parents are unfit and also know that the child will end up being adopted.
This may be totally selfish but I can't help but to think the boy's need to grow up together. The kinship has shown an interest in letting the boys get to know each other, but again my son is developmentally delayed and were worried about the confusion this will cause as he grows up. Needless to say the Kinship family wants a open adoption so bio mom and dad can visit. We had a closed adoption on our son because the mom's family has a long history of abuse and neglect and we're not convinced the bio dad has completely severed ties with our son's mom.
My heart breaks for everone involved. The bio parents for both boys are low functioning with severe mental retardation. We just cant help but to think that letting the boys grow up together is in the best interest of both of them.
DHS will be here tomorrow morning to pick up the baby. Less than a week and we have to say goodbye. To say we're crushed would be a understatement.