Case Workers Responsibilities

[FosterMom78]

Hi Everyone,

I have a few questions for you guys on some of your experiences in dealing with the state. I recently gave my foster child back to his BM. I am now finding out through having the BM contact me directly that she is having financial problems. I guess she is very much behind on her rent payments and she can barely afford to feed the child on what she has. She does not have a phone and can only contact people when she can get a hold of a friends phone etc... I was upset to hear all this. I thought the reason the child was with me was for her to get all of this stuff settled before getting the child back. I have been calling the case worker to find out what is going on and why isnt she eligible for certain things like WIC/food stamps, housing etc... I know these are tough times in the economy but you would think that the state would have had this stuff all settled for her before the child returned.

I am wondering if anyone else had similar problems? If so do you have any suggestions? The BM is sort of looking to us now for assistance. While I can help a little I can't be responsible for paying her rent and utlities every month. I just dont know what to do and the case worker doesnt seem to be much help. I have been researching our state programs such as welfare etc.. it seems that she would qualify she just needs to get down there to apply... I am puzzled as to why this was all not done before... :confused: It makes me sad the the child is back in this same situation.

[CAFostermom]

Interesting...I will tell you that when I have called our case worker for various issues, I often get the response "I don't know because it's not my job" and I am never forwarded to the correct person!!!! In "Corporate America" (my term for any business in the US:)) we would never be allowed to do that - it's poor customer service and reflects badly on the company.

When we had two foster kids, their brother was living with his birth father (this wasn't the same birth father as these kids) and he became homeless. The children's birth grandmother asked us to help out (by serving as a temporary home for the sibling). We were also told this story by Social Services. They were not going to pull this child away from the dad as "homelessness" is not automatically a criteria for abuse/neglect! Suffice to say, DSS did not intervene while this young family lived in their car.

Just be careful when dealing with the BM. I have heard the issue you are dealing with from other foster parents. Isn't it amazing that the kids are able to go to the parents even when it's not the optimal situation. In one case, one of the families ended up getting the foster child back into their home because DS determined that the situation with the BM wasn't sound. I think that they ended up adopting this child.

The birth mother probably knows that you are a good person and have the means to care for her child.....perhaps you can point her to some of the local services...you don't want to end up a co-dependent. I know that the churches often provide assistance to families like her (they can provide food and financial assistance). She may be able to go to a local Women's Shelter. It sounds like she needs someone to teach her how to manage her life and money.....I thought that the Birth parents were supposed to take classes like that as a condition for getting their kids back! If the situation gets really bad, you might be able to report her to the local child abuse hotline.

[FosterMom78]

Thanks for the advice CAFOSTERMOM. I agree that children shouldn't be taken from "poor" people unless there is abuse or neglect. I just think that it's a bit ridiculous that the entire 10 months we had the child that these issues were not addressed (i.e. home, food etc..). It seems silly to me that they returned the child without making sure these things were cleared up as well as the BM's other issues (i.e substance abuse etc.. reasons for the child being removed in the first place). The BM is now calling me daily for basically financial support and transportation etc... I have been helping because I love and care for the child but I am afraid I am going to be taken advantage of. I have shelled out quite a bit of money of my own to help the BM pay for rent, utilities and food. I sent a note to the case worker who didnt seem to care at all. I am not famillar with alot of the programs including WIC, cash assistance etc.. that are offered so I have to do all of the research myself. I am wondering why there is not someone to help "guide" her with all of this??... I would think there would be a central source for people especially with children taken into custody by the state that the parents can call for help and guidance. While I dont mind helping... I find it very hard to say NO because of the child and I dont want to get myself into any financial trouble... I just dont know where to turn...

[ThePowerMan]

Many of the SW today have "jobs". They don't take the service that they do very seriously. It is rare to find a SW that isn't a 9 to 5 type person and also one that will do the "extras" to help families with all their needs. There are SW who do this but not many.

Be careful when helping the BM. You know the saying about "Help a man to learn to fish............don't just give him fish." It is true. Many of these families will mooch off anyone who will "give" them something. Ussually there are other issues (drugs, abuse, laziness, etc) that keep them from "catching their own fish". Not often is it only being uneducated about where to go and what to do.

Think of it this way......if your kids where taken away from you, would you sit back, with no job, and wait for people to help you get your house in order? No!!!! You would be digging ditches or something to get your kids back. I know the economy is bad but there are things to do out there if you REALLY want to work. I would do anything for my family.

So in closing......yes....help the BM. But don't enable her. Find out about programs in your state. Tell her what you would do if you were her. Things like where to look for jobs, public housing, find a good church, change friends, etc. Heck, even buy her a nice set of clothes to where to a job interview or search. She is the one that has to make changes in her life to get the kids back.........and it can't be a quick fix or a mask. Help her learn "how" to do things and not just do them for her.

I commend you for having so much contact with BM. Most FP do not like talking to the birth parents. It is people like you that will make a difference in the family and not only the child. Thanks for posting. Good luck.

[FosterMom78]

Thanks PowerMan. I really appreciate your advice and good wishes. I will take them to heart. I am trying to really just guide the BM and not offer any monetary support but sometimes it's just sooo hard when I know the child is with her. I love the little boy like my own and just want him to have all of the things that he would if he were still with me. You do have a good point though... maybe if I stop helping her ( ie: giving her rent money etc...) she will bottom out again and the child will be returned to me in the long run.... It's just so hard to watch sometimes. I really wish the SW would just give 5 solid minutes to the case to figure out what is REALLY going on...... :(

[ThePowerMan]

I know the feeling. Sometimes I would love to be able to change positions again (From FP to SW and then back to FP) You know....maybe be both for the day. But unfortunately our feeling would probably get in the way. You have to ask the question......Is he or she safe? From that you have to remember that we can't all be the same. God made us ALL different from our ethnic backgrounds to our economic backgrounds. I am not sure why but I know He did it for a reason. But what I am sure of is that we can't put our personal morals and desires on everyone that we come in contact with. I wish we could but .......that's another story.

God has given us the ability to help these kids. Both emotionally, physically, and financially. I desire all the kids that enter my home to get good educations and go to college. I wish they all could, but I have come to realize that everyone wasn't meant to go to college. But that don't mean that they can't be successful. Now you have to answer the question "what is success?" Is it being an engineer at an electric cooperative like me (hence ThePowerMan) OR is it being a homemaker or the school janitor that teaches Sunday school?

I guess my point is that we need to be careful and try not to put our lifestyles on kids. God may intend for them to be in that lower income bracket and be that Sunday school teacher. Just make sure he or she is "safe".

[FosterMom78]

Completely agree, PowerMan. I grew up in a low income single parent house and turned out just fine! :) I have definitely made something of myself and have a fantastic husband now but I worked hard for it... I just want to give him all that I didnt have but completely agree that different backgrounds make the world a BETTER place!:)

I guess you just always want better for "your" kids! I didnt understand that until now...

[Fostererer]

If you get no joy from the case worker, write or call their team leader. As mentioned earlier, in the corporate world, we wouldn't accept the level of communication you are getting from the case worker. So don't.

You could also call the child's lawyer or write to them.

[ThePowerMan]

In Alabama, we have an ISP (Individualized Service Plan) meeting atleast each quarter. This includes SW, SW supervisor, BM and/or BD, FC, and attorneys. Sometimes we even have school rep, doctor, law enforcement, etc. This are mandatory meeting each quarter. Sometimes, especially at the beginning, these are held each month. Everything is put on the table. Some of this I like.....some I don't. But atleast everybody knows what it going on. Foster Parents play a BIG role in this because we are so close to the situation and usually know more about the case than the SW.