20/20 news - internationational adoption issues

[CAFostermom]

Did anyone catch the 20/20 program last Friday? It aired in our local area the day after Thanksgiving. The program profiled a family who had adopted some older kids from Russia. The family has gone through so much trauma because the kids had so many problems (RAD, PTSD, etc.) that were not disclosed prior to the adoption. In one part, the family video taped their son after he had hurt his sister - he wouldn't accept responsibility ("I didn't do it") or he countered saying "it wasn't his fault." There was another kid who admitted pulling a knife on his mom and threatened to kill her. It was like deja vu for us, as our foster son did those similar behaviors. The kids had to be removed from the home - in this case, they were able to go to a special treatment facility and return to their family. For those that were helped, it appears that they responded to highly structured environments (time structure coupled with discipline) with little personal perks (i.e. big rooms with tons of toys, etc). Other kids weren't so lucky.

Though the episode was about international adoptees, many of the issues seen with these kids are the same that many of the foster kids experience. It's soooooo SAD that these kids are traumatized and bear life-long scars. Though many recover, there are those that can't and end up repeating the abuse cycle.

I don't want to scare anyone....I know that there are many foster kids that are pure gems, and they end up fine! But for those that are not fine, I wish the foster care system would better service these kids. It seems like nothing is done unless we foster parents speak up and demand services for these kids.

[Pink*Babies]

I watched that as well. That family put so much into saving those three kids.

Besides being a fosterparent, I also had an adminstrative position in Spec. Ed. In my district, we had three group homes and I participated in the IEP's of those kids. I have seen far too many kids who were damaged irrevocably by their families prior to be placed.

[CAFostermom]

It is so true that many of these kids are "damaged" (I hate using that term)....and I get the sense that the foster system is barely managing under current operational processes, that they do not have the time/resources to affirmatively get the help needed for these kids unless it is demanded or mandated by a court. I believe that they've had to triage the kids and apply resources only to kids that show obvious signs of medical and emotional issues.

It's unfortunate that the birth parents make choices that end up abusing or neglecting their kids. It truly is sooooo saddening to watch. And in many cases, this not only impacts the kids in their young life, but may impact their adult life as well. Even if they are adopted, they will always bear a scar of their former life...while many of them turn it into positive motivation, some kids go back to that former life when they are adults. Imagine if a foster kid hadn't been exposed to drugs, or abused, then the child might have the ability to thrive as a child and adult.

[Riversun]

We found out two of the children we planned to foster long term had RAD. The case worker and therapist said these two children would have no problem bonding. They told us they would do well with other children. The children interestingly, were very bright and well behaved in school. They had the therapist completely fooled. It quickly became apparent the oldest had the type of RAD where she would hurt anyone and everything. The youngest had the type where he would bond and cling to complete strangers. We began to read everything we could on the subject to better understand it. We contacted the newspapers, news stations, magazines, news invertigative reporters, Oprah and anyone we could think of- asking them to let the public know about this condition. People outside the adoption and foster care world have no idea this RAD even exists. I am glad 20/20 did a report on it. My hope is one day someone famous, with tons of money will make it their cause, get the word out and push for more research on how to help these chldren. It is a devastating condition that ruins many children for life. Does anyone remember those therapists who killed a child trying to do rebirthing? Yeah, if I have one wish it would be for RAD to be truly studied and tons of help provided to help heal these children. But what will it take for someone to listen and take this on?

[CAFostermom]

Riversun, I empathize with your plight. I think that many times the caseworkers are so desparate to find these kids a home that they will oftens stretch the truth about the kids, or as you mentioned, they had the caseworkers fooled. We believed that this occurred with our former foster son. He would tell the caseworker that he bonded but he would also hurt people in the family. I believe that many of them see the behaviors that their birth parents/relatives perpetrate and adopt/adapt them. They may see for example, that they can behave a certain way to get what they want. In that respect, they are acting like survivors on a flight/fight mode just trying to get their needs met because of the trauma they've suffered.

I do remember the therapist you are speaking of - the child was suppose to go through a "rebirthing" process as part of their healing. Interesting point: one of the agencies we work with told us that we needed to read some addititional books on discipline techniques for our former foster son. When I googled the author's name to get the book, I found a couple of links to articles that had implicated with the therapists in CO (?) who were doing the rebirthing...apparently, this author had been a proponent and a trainer of this process.

I wish you luck with these kids. I know that there are some great success stories with RAD kids.

You are correct that something needs to be done about this situation. With our current economy, I think that we are going to see a rise in child abuse/neglect issues; this will be compounded by the fact that many social service programs will start to have funding cut. We are seeing that already in CA.

[stayathomemom]

OMG! I was just posting about this...it's such an unfortunate situation..Especially when there are plenty of kids out there that need a good home...