Wife and I considering foster parenting

[RonPA]

My wife and I have talked about foster parenting for awhile, and finally decided that it was something we both wanted to do. We have 2 daughters, ages 4yrs and 18 months (the 4 year old will be 5 in December) and we live in Pennsylvania. We have a 3 bedroom house, and would probably end up putting our two daughters in my oldest daughter's bedroom and give the foster child their own room.

We'd most likely foster a teenager, and I think we're looking more towards a girl since the other girls could get along with her and maybe see her as a "big sister". I wanted to know if anyone could give me a few tips for a first time foster family. We still have to apply for this, get background checks, take the classes, etc, so we're just starting with this process, but my wife and I shouldn't have any problems.

One other question I had was about the home inspection - Our house is kept up well, but is there something they're looking for specifically? Like, for instance, are the bedrooms too small? Our 2 kids bedrooms are about 10x9, I just want to make sure this is big enough legally to put both of our children in.

Any tips or advice would be greatly appreciated - thanks!

[lovemykids2008]

Congratulations and I hope you both become foster parents. Each state is different and you can obtain the home requirements from your local Children's Services Division in the county in which you live. The only advice that I can give you is it takes very patient and special parents to deal with teenagers, especially parents who have never raised a teenager before. Good Luck!

[momof4boys]

I would think the room size would be fine. We always had the rule not to take fk that are older than my youngest child and with that much diffence in age I would be truly worried about SA issues. That is just my opinion. Fostering is a wonderful experience. I don't want to scare you away from it, by any means:)

[FosterMom78]

Congrats! I am sure you will make GREAT foster parents! I am thinking back to my home inspection and to be fair mine was for a 2 year old so it may be different for an older child... but basically they were just looking to make sure my house was clean and safe. We had to get things like plug covers and a bath mat so the child wouldnt slip in the tub etc... They checked the smoke detectors and carbon detector etc...also they made sure we didnt have any lead paint. But it does depend on the state your in and the age of the child. I wouldnt worry to much as they will let you know if there are any special things you may need to do. Best of luck to you!!:)

[CAFostermom]

Congrats for wanting to foster - it's a blessing to be able to take these kids into your home. Here's some things I would recommend:
1. I would suggest doing some research on finding an appropriate agency. In CA we have public (government - i.e. Social Services) and private agencies. You may find that it is easier to get supported by a private agency (not just the $$ support, but emotional support). Private agencies have more resources than government and can provide more help in a quicker manner if you need it. Also some agencies cater towards your specific needs (i.e. do you want to foster only, or do you want to fost/adopt).
2. Work with the agency to determine the licensing requirements. You may find that you have "homework" to complete before you get your license. Here in CA, we have to do background checks, etc. that take some time. It took us about 9 months to get certified, but we were busy with our other life projects. I think that most people can get certified within 4 months.
3. GET TRAINED! Hopefully your agency will train you, but there are other resources that will help you prepare. There are many books on fostering. This isn't like adopting a puppy from the shelter! Many of these kids have been witness to abuse/neglect or have been abused/neglected....it's unfortunate and sad....but you CAN make a difference in their life and help them understand what it means to be in a real family.
4. Be open and honest with your agency in terms of what you can/cannot handle. They need to find a child that will match with your dynamics. For example, they may recommend that you foster a child younger than your own - why? They want to ensure that the birth order of your own bio kids is not usurped. There are times when I have seem teenagers fostered in a home with younger bio kids, but it's not the norm. Again, talk with your agency.
5. Lastly, find a GOOD support system. It may be your place of worship, your extended friends/family, your agency. You will be bringing not only a children but their history and their bio families. There may be some animosity from the birth parents (they may feel like you are infringing on their natural rights).

Good luck and THANK YOU for wanting to make the difference in the life of an abused/neglected child.

[fostermomma2littleones]

I live in PA as well...when my husband I were approved, we lived in a small 2 bedroom apartment. My husband has a 12 year old son that was with us every other weekend. Anyway...his room was VERY small (just big enough for a twin bed, and maybe 2 dressers), however, my husband built a loft bed and we placed a crib underneath...the agency said that was sufficient. Once our first placement, now our adopted son, grew out of the crib, we replaced it with a toddler bed. Again, the agency said that was fine. We have since moved to a 3 bedroom house. I don't think size is necassarily the issue...it's more having enough room for their own beds to sleep.