When you feel overwhelmed...

[Mom11]

Hey everyone, first off, god bless for opening your doors to these children. It is not easy. I am new at Foster parenting, since Aug., 2008. My issue: I went from a house with 3 empty bedrooms, to filling every nook and granie with 5 kids, all coming to me at the same time. Kids are aged: 9 - 13, three are foster and two are step children, my 19 year old is a studen and works part time and still lives at home. Sometimes, I feel so happy because of what I am able to do, however there are times when I cry my eyes out. I am scared, very scared. Currently self-employeed in a market that will not see daylight for a while - New construction and general real estate. Sometimes, it's not only this, is me adjusting my life style to accommodate these 5 kids, I was home free and able to do what ever I wanted without having to "drag" anyone with me. Any advice, input would be most helpful.

Username: Mom11 = 6 step children ages 26 - 11, 3 Foster ages 13 - 9, 2 of my own aged 23 & 19.:rolleyes:

[new at this]

I'm glad that someone else out there is scared too. this is an awesome responsibility. I think that when you feel overwhelmed, you slow down and just get through that very day ( or hour, or minute). No one is judging you. No one and no situation is perfect. Hang in there.

[Friends6478]

my husband and i were engaged when we got our first foster child a little boy with lots of problems and lots of history of abuse... We have had kids in our home for 2 years. Took one weekend to our selfs (our wedding weekend) then monday it was back to foster mom and dad. We really needed a break but was scared to take it. we are kid free for a little while and I feel so lonesom. I love spending time with my husband and we have gone our first one on one date in 2 years and we just get in the car and go for a drive and that was great for 2 weeks, now we want to have kids... I feel like I am helping when I have kids... :(

[YoungFosterMom]

Although the number, ages, and severity of the case have been different with my foster children, I can relate to the obstacle it poses within a marriage. My husband and I just went on our first date without kids since September on Monday. It's crazy, but our lives are definitely more fulfilling now that we have foster kids. It's a sacrifice we have had to make, and one that we have chosen to continue until we have children of our own. It is essential, however, that you do get that time together. I believe it is a great decision to do foster care, but the time as husband and wife is valuable and should not be taken for granted. Put a night away each week or month and pay for a babysitter to watch the kids and who is qualified to meet their needs.

[carlo]

Hi Mom 11,

It's been a while since your post so I assume you have adjusted by now. For the others who read this I'm sure can relate to the overwhelming feeling of fostering children, especially if you have several at once. I remember my wife and I actually leaving the children with Grandmother and going out for dinner. We we're so consumed with our new family that we ended up talking about the kids half the "Date Night" out. :)

It's just the period of time where you have to adjust. Don't worry, things get easier when you find your pattern and flow in how you handle the children. There are so many facets that you have to learn. I remember that going to Disneyland with our four children (6months - 6 years old) and it was a daunting thought so invited grandma along which relieved the pressure. Now after 1 year it's not even a thought anymore. It's all a matter of adjusting.

All the best!