Thinking about becoming a foster parent

[natasha]

Hello All:
I just finished reading a book called "Finding Fish" and it has opened someting inside me. I have been a foster parent for animals for many years and now I am thinking about doing this for a child.I would say 10 and above..I do believe that it is harder to place childen of this age.
Is there someone who can tell me what to expect, or anything actually.I am just starting to look into this.
I have no children, and have always said that I wouldnt want to have children of my own. That I would possibly adopt if I decided to have a child.
I am not sure even waht to ask.
I just feel that I could help a child..teach them the tools they need to survive and to be successfull and to be happy.Give them love and possibly help them heal from the past.
I cant bear what this poor boy went through in this book, and maybe I can help another child avoid this life.
Looking forward to any responses.
Natasha

[dseger]

Natasha,
I'm glad you asked. Being a foster parent for children can be very rewarding as well as challenging. My wife and started fostering children about 16 years ago with no expectation of what it would be like. Like you, we had no bio kids and ended up filling our parenting life with foster children. We eventually adopted two boys.
You have the right perspective on fostering. You must do it for the children's sake, not to fulfill a need that you have.

What to expect? That can vary greatly depending upon the agency you work with and the children placed with you. Since you may not have much prior parenting experience, be careful that the agency doesn't place very difficult children with you initially. It took my wife and I a couple years to learn the skills for being effective with some of the challenging behaviors that foster children can exhibit. The key things we learned were:
1) Get training and don't be afraid to get help.
2) Find a local foster parent support group where you can discuss your challenges with others that understand.
3) Provide an environment that is consistent and predictable. Many of the children have not had this in their lives. They will like it (without knowing it), although they may try to create disruption to recreate the environment that they came from.
4) Be supportive of their birth family. Never say bad thing about them. They are likely going back. Even if they don't go back, the child will determine their own beliefs about their family.

There are a few tidbits....

To get started with fostering, there are several starting steps you can take:
1) contact your local social services agency to get information on becoming a foster parent.
2) Google "foster parent". The tops links (NFPA and Foster Parent Community) are all good resources.

Go for it! :)
Dennis

[Countryboywwc]

It is hard to tell you "exactly" what to expect. There are alot of unknown variables to this question. For starters, what state do you live in. Each state is run like a fiefdom when it comes to foster care. Foster care is a state right and the federal governments typically likes to stay away.

As with any child, you could get a teacher pet who does not have any problems whatsoever, to kids who have emotional/behavioral problems. There is a whole spectrum and it would vary from situation to situation. What dseger said is very accurate. I would also encourage you to see if you have a chapter of CASA (court appointed special advocate)

[lmohler]

Natasha - I am in the EXACT same place as you! I have no bio children of my own, and am just beginning to explore the idea of foster parenting. On the AdoptUSkids.org website, there is a nice little section on foster parenting, with a downloadable brochure that walks the prospective parent through the 7 steps in becoming a foster parent. The brochure is general, though... not specific to state requirements. Good luck with your journey!

I live in Pennsylvania. Does anyone know of links relative to the specifics of this state? Or any state-specific foster parent online forums/discussion groups? The PA Foster Parent Association didn't really meet my needs, and the Butler County Children and Youth Services Website only had a person's phone number.

Any help would be appreciated!
Laurie

[Countryboywwc]

hope these helps


http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/30006/foster_parenting_in_pennsylvania.html

http://www.pacode.com/secure/data/055/chapter3700/chap3700toc.html

http://www.net-centers.org/pachild.htm

http://www.starsfamily.org/fostercare.htm

http://www.csshazleton.org/adoption.html

[Countryboywwc]

and for online forums try this site

http://forums.adoption.com/pennsylvania-foster-adoption/

[smith.mary]

I am in a similar situation. I am just starting in this process as well. I do, however, have a biological son. He is just a toddler, and I am looking for resources on how being a foster sibling may affect him. Anyone know of any resources?

[Countryboywwc]

I am sure that there are topics/resources that deal with you question however, I do not know where to direct you. Let me dig into this (unless one of the mod/admin know). From my personal experience in foster care and having a social work degree, this question is next to impossible to answer. There are so many variables that come into play. The two important ones are:


1: What is the temperament of the foster child.


2: What type of home do you have. How will the said foster child react in such an environment. There is a reason why older foster kids are harder to place and this is one of them. The older the foster kid is, the more likely he/she will remember the traumatization that has occurred in their life.


Let me stress again that there are many variables and there are no two cases alike. I applaud you for considering to open up your home and your heart to an older child. As you correctly stated, it is much easier to place a younger kid in a foster home then an older kid. I hope that I have been of some assistance. Jeff