aggiedog
December 13th, 2010, 10:45 PM
You know the saying innocent until proven guilty? That's not how the system works in the foster care world. When an allegation is submitted against you, be it substaniated or nonsubstantiated, you will always be guilty. It's like being registered as an offender for the rest of your life. Once you are identified whether you are or not, people draw their own conclusion and the mark is on your forehead forever!
It wasn't until a few weeks ago when I became the victim of allegations that I found this statement to be true. I tried to help someone that was beyond my help. She needed something far greater than I was able to give. I had two foster children that were removed from my home. One, the oldest, 15, is the one that placed the allegations. It wasn't until I placed her in mental health that the allegation of abuse was what I awoke to a phone call for the very first thing the next morning. Supposedly I had bit her and I failed to report that she tried to commit suicide to the on call person. I wonder if anyone can help me with this......if a person has a belt around their neck as if to tie a tie, and they tell you they are going to kill themselves (and she is known for being a pathological liar) and you grab the belt and get it aiway from the person. You comfort the person while trying to find out what is going on. After you finally get them calm and they talk to you, they go to bed. You place the child on suicide watch and monitor her all night until morning when she awakes to go to school. Nothing else came of this, and I honestly didn't think to call the emergency number or report it. Now you would think that after 13 years of being a foster parent, one should know better. But never out of all the years I have been a parent have I never encountered a child that was so out of control that I couldn't help and never have I been under investigation.
The other child 11 years old, is open for adoption. She has been in my home for 2 years and they removed her from my home as well. I was unsure about adopting her before this terrible allegation took place. I didn't realize how emotionally attached I have become to this little girl, and ever since she's been gone, I have had very high anxiety. Here's where the criminal part comes in........I have been denied any type of contact with her. According to the social worker it's not in her best interest, that she needs to be placed in an adoptive home. The judge agreed with the adoptive team that she was to stay in my home and transition into a family that they felt was a match for the child. This hasn't happened. I am torn to pieces. She doesn't want to be with anyone else but me.
The investigation has been given to another county. I've been told she can't be placed back in my home until things are cleared and then that's probably not likely to happen. I don't know what to do accept worry. Not about the allegations, which is a situation in itself, but about "my child" coming back to me. I guess the question at hand is.....has anyone ever been through something like this? The part about not calling or notifying the agency about the occurrence with the belt, what could be the worse case scenario? Help!
It wasn't until a few weeks ago when I became the victim of allegations that I found this statement to be true. I tried to help someone that was beyond my help. She needed something far greater than I was able to give. I had two foster children that were removed from my home. One, the oldest, 15, is the one that placed the allegations. It wasn't until I placed her in mental health that the allegation of abuse was what I awoke to a phone call for the very first thing the next morning. Supposedly I had bit her and I failed to report that she tried to commit suicide to the on call person. I wonder if anyone can help me with this......if a person has a belt around their neck as if to tie a tie, and they tell you they are going to kill themselves (and she is known for being a pathological liar) and you grab the belt and get it aiway from the person. You comfort the person while trying to find out what is going on. After you finally get them calm and they talk to you, they go to bed. You place the child on suicide watch and monitor her all night until morning when she awakes to go to school. Nothing else came of this, and I honestly didn't think to call the emergency number or report it. Now you would think that after 13 years of being a foster parent, one should know better. But never out of all the years I have been a parent have I never encountered a child that was so out of control that I couldn't help and never have I been under investigation.
The other child 11 years old, is open for adoption. She has been in my home for 2 years and they removed her from my home as well. I was unsure about adopting her before this terrible allegation took place. I didn't realize how emotionally attached I have become to this little girl, and ever since she's been gone, I have had very high anxiety. Here's where the criminal part comes in........I have been denied any type of contact with her. According to the social worker it's not in her best interest, that she needs to be placed in an adoptive home. The judge agreed with the adoptive team that she was to stay in my home and transition into a family that they felt was a match for the child. This hasn't happened. I am torn to pieces. She doesn't want to be with anyone else but me.
The investigation has been given to another county. I've been told she can't be placed back in my home until things are cleared and then that's probably not likely to happen. I don't know what to do accept worry. Not about the allegations, which is a situation in itself, but about "my child" coming back to me. I guess the question at hand is.....has anyone ever been through something like this? The part about not calling or notifying the agency about the occurrence with the belt, what could be the worse case scenario? Help!