New here have questions

[lucky62]

My husband and I went through foster and adopt training here in Missouri.We had only planned for adoption only and this was always made very clear, but we did accept fostering as a legal risk.We were placed with 2 little boys who we soon learned were foster only but we decided they would be our one and only -foster only kids-. We are now in month 3 and very bonded as we are with the parents.The parents choose us over family once the initial 30 days were over.We have had to supervise all visits, do absolutley everything on our own and we drive 30 miles to do this.We've never gotten milage , no diaper allowance as promised.Then they added on nightly phone calls, and added 2 more visits during the week, which means 3 visits nightly phone calls PLUS they added the parents are to be notified by us of each doctor or wic appt so they may attend.
Finally with neither of us free to pick up my husbands son for his every other weekend visit and husband works, alot.I had to have other arrangements for the visit so they did get a parent aide to supervise, which is really no help since its and hour and we cant possibly make it home and back muchless to another town to get step son.So my husband has to miss work to help me get it all done.
I think nightly calls are ridiculous, and I dont believe as they told me, any judge ordered this.The parents dont even agree with it.But then they are treated as they dont care about their kids.
Now they want us to drive 150 miles each way to have a sleep study done and 120 miles each way for a psych eval.When we have them within 20 miles of us.
When I cpmplained they said they recommend they take the boys and move as soon as possible, because we only want to adopt and arent gonna help re unite.Thats all we have been in this for for these boys --re unite!!! We have plenty of kids we have had our homestudy sent to that are legally free to adopt.
Why do they tear these kids up? What could we have possibly done so wrong? We have adhered to every single request.

[Texas Grandma]

Welcome to CPS world, where they say we are protecting the kids. Who is there to protect the kids from CPS and all that they do to them?

[FosterMom78]

Texas Grandma.... you stated it perfectly! :)

It would be nice if the Foster world worked like the government so we had some checks and balances. Unfortunately there seems to be no check on the system. One of our SW's had so many cases she barely did anything to check on the BM of our FC.

I have a friend who recently started fostering and her and her husband are looking to adopt as well. She has told me that basically unless she agrees to take in children who will eventually be reunited then she will probably not ever get a child who is free to adopt. While she doesnt mind doing this for awhile, she mentioned that she is really looking for a child of her "own". She told me once she had mentioned this the SW that she was very "unhappy" and "distant". They are now looking to move the little girl who is in her care to another home stating the same thing that they are not helping to reunify. It's really unfortunate because they are being wonderful parents to this little girl. I dont understand why they dont ask the children sometimes... this girl is 6 years old and can speak well. She has stated she really likes where she is and wants to stay there until her BM is "well again". It's very sad. I guess you are not able to speak so "freely" to the system!

I wish you luck! Hopefully they will find a permaneant placement for you soon.:)

[Fostererer]

Make a ruckus when you think the child's needs are not being put first as that's what is supposedly the focus. I called our case worker's manager 6 or 7 times during our last placement as we had constant changes, mistakes, stupidity etc going on. The manager was very helpful and welcomed our calls.

[ramtim1972]

Missouri has a hard time with this it seems.

[ThePowerMan]

Usually there are state FP associations that have ALOT of info on the in's and out's that can happen in cases. Most of the SW don't even know what is and isn't allowed. Try to find you states association and it's reps.

[beachbound]

Welcome to CPS world, where they say we are protecting the kids. Who is there to protect the kids from CPS and all that they do to them?


Couldnt have said it better myself!